i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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