There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
