My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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