Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
