I want to walk on stilts...naked
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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