I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
