Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
