I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
