I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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