I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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