I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
