dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
