I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
