margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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