she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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