She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
