Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
