I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
