we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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