Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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