I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize