Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
