I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
