I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
