I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Damn victory sex feels great
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