ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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