I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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