if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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