I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
