The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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