Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
