I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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