just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize