He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
