just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
