Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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