you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You should frame my arrest warrant.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
