so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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