Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
nutella sex= disaster
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
