The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
