My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
