My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Randomize
