id be glad to
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
