Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
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