her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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