Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
