Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
