i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
