How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
