We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
