dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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