There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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