just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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