Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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