Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
