***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
