Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Randomize
