Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
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