he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
