this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize