I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Randomize