so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Randomize
