I am in a vortex of obligation.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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