He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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