She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
